Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay, Wastin' Time

Well, the "bay" is about 2700 miles west of here, but as for the time-wastin' part, we've got you covered there.

With fourteen weeks gone and three to go on the NFL season, here's how we see the entire field, based on Bill Parcells' dictum that the best way to rate a team is by its-- well, by its won-lost record. Forthwith...

 1. Panthers 13-0 They've still three weeks to go/To get that 16-0  

2. Cardinals 11-2 Expect that they will peak/In season's final week  
3. Patriots 11-2 AFC opponents  fear/ Road to “50” leads through here  

4. Bengals 10-3 The shape of things to come/May hang on Dalton's thumb  
5. Broncos 10-3 Tough Raider loss at home/To Boston must they roam?  

6. Packers 9-4 Oh yes, they're in the lead/But still not up to speed  

7. Steelers 8-5 Beat Bengals big to gain/And three weeks yet remain  
8. Chiefs 8-5 Seven straight, you bet/Is wild-card all they'll get?  
9. Seahawks 8-5 Wilson's off the charts/And may still break some hearts  
10. Vikings 8-5 If they win all 3 games/Then first place will they claim  
11. Jets 8-5 To take that playoff ride/Will Bills and Pats decide?  

12. Eagles 6-7 Two more division fights/Keep them awake at nights  
13. Raiders 6-7 K-Mack's a superstar /And Carr behind ain't far  
14. Redskins 6-7 They finally won on road/As Cousins' mettle showed  
15. Giants 6-7 The schedule ain't their friend/Face Eagles at the end  
16. Bills 6-7 Rex can talk the talk/But they haven't walked the walk  
17. Buccaneers6-7 This loss leaves playoff hopes/A-hangin' on the ropes  
18. Texans 6-7 Beat Indy in the 'Dome/And bring the bacon home
19. Colts 6-7 Can Luck or Hasselbeck/Keep Houston off their neck?  
20. Falcons 6-7 The season's biggest flop/When will the losing stop?  

21. Saints 5-8 A chance to win four straight/And finish 8-and-8  
22. Jaguars 5-8 That thirty-nine-point run/They topped with fifty-one!  
23. Rams 5-8 We all know they can win/When linemen block again  
24. Bears        5-8 Can play a spoiler role/And put Vikings in a hole  
25. Dolphins 5-8 Bet Campbell won't be here/When tee it up next year 

26. Ravens 4-9 The ground has been well-tilled/It's time, John, to rebuild
27. Cowboys 4-9 One chance, it would appear/To wreck the Redskins' year  
28. Lions        4-9 Has everyone been dozing?/The window may be closing!
29. 49ers 4-9 A moment of faint hope?/Remember: York's a dope  

30. Titans 3-10 Mariota's past reproach/But who will be the coach?
31. Chargers 3-10 Is losing part of plan/To move to La-La-Land?  
32. Browns 3-10 Why win? We know it's sick/Let's get that first draft pick!    

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